Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Let's Be Real

I'm struggling to keep up with this blog, especially when I'm on my other one everyday.

SO, go to it!

I most more often and I actually take my TIME with it! I wish I could have stuck this one out, but it's pointless to be writing about the same thing on both blogs. I'll post on here each time I have a good post on the other one!

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Count to Three

     Why, hello again.

     Last week, my friend Asiyami (amazing woman, check out her blog) invited me to Mexico with her. Should I go!?! Yes? No? I don't know! Ahhh!!  Let's see, I had been working 60 plus hours a week since I got to NY, I just got fired (oh yeah, that . . .) after weeks of getting bullied by co-workers, a chunk of my tooth had decided to unceremoniously chip off, I was still sleeping on a folded up blanket on the floor for a bed . . . I figured, why not? Life is too short. I'm constantly stressed out, always angry, my feet hurt, oh and Playa Del Carmen looks like this:

     So I looked at my bank account, promptly ignored what I saw and made plans for Mexico. I personally believe that the best way to live life is to travel. That the point of living is to see and experience how everyone else in the world lives. Can we all do that? Of course not, don't be silly. Ain't nobody got that kind of money or time to travel the world. But when an opportunity knocks on your door, grab it and run before someone gets a hold of it. As a child, I was extremely fortunate to have visited a handful of different countries and as an adult, I am blessed to have amazing  friends and family who are willing enough to carry my broke ass along for the ride.

     We arrive in Cancun and have a bus take us to our hostel which is about 5 blocks away from the tourist attractions. My first time in Mexico was in 2010 for academic purposes and while it had been nice to go to the more rural areas and gain a massive amount of knowledge, it was refreshing to come back and visit an actual tourist destination that's set apart from the 'real world' and made to look pretty. I hear so many people who say they want the 'authentic' experience when they visit a new place, they want to mingle with the locals; nope. Not I. Sometimes, I WANT to walk around in another country and take pictures of ridiculously mundane things and have that be okay. 

     The beach was our first hit. I have never seen the ocean so blue. We walked down the street filled with stalls and hawkers constantly yelling out to us. An interesting observation: They were all mesmerized by my friend Asiyami (who wouldn't be!?!) because well, she's gorgeous and secondly, by her hair.


     My braids (everyone thought they were locks) did get a lot of questions, but aside from its length, my hairstyle was no real surprise. But people were baffled and mesmerized by Asiyami's hair (they thought it was real, too!). A man explained to me that it was so rare to see a black woman with hair like that and who was beautiful as well. Hmm. I resisted the urge to enter a one woman lecture about the exotification of mixed hair and the standard of beauty for black women when it comes to complexion and hair texture. That aside, we  had several moments of confusion and giggles when people asked to  take pictures with us . . . I just can't help but wonder if we would have gotten the same type of attraction had we been bald . . .

I waited years to buy a bikini, but something pulled me back to a full suit and I've never felt more confident in a bathing suit because it covered up my problem areas that I'm self-conscious about.

     I was completely relaxed at this point!

     Alright, the beach and yarn braids. Never again. As I got into the water, I was pretty confident that I could handle my braids wet. No. When I got out, I was as weighed down as a 7-yr old unsheared sheep. It took ages to wring out and HOURS to dry. Despite the ridiculous length at which I keep my braids, this was the first time I got severe neck pain from them. Don't make stupid decisions like I did.

     The rest of our trip consisted of walking, talking and window-shopping. When any of you do visit another country/state/city, don't stress about buying cute little knick-knacks here and there! Yes, I wish I have bought a lot of things, but just being there was good enough for me. The reluctant lapping of waves on the white sands, the hollering of store owners, the smells of food escaping from nearby restaurants, the squawking of desperate seagulls, each building a brillant color, every corner revealing a hidden relic or two to take home; I took it all in.


 Fruit stand. I got pineapple slices and coconut!

Dem go dey pose

I find that climbing into hammocks alone are a lot more fun than actually laying in them!

Was in the middle of shooting Asi for her blog content and got distracted by Jorge and his daughter, Janet. I'm pretty sure he was making sure I didn't run off with his bicycle! Running into them gave me a valuable lesson/idea. I need a polaroid camera. I took a picture of Jorge and Janet and was really surprised by Jorge's excitement over the picture. I would have loved a polaroid camera so that I could have given them a picture right there and then. I am forever lenient with children touching my hair. Adults are a big no and so I had to dodge many people in the tourist center -__-

Jorge came round a second time and offered us a ride, but we didn't have anywhere to go! There was definitely an upside to not having gotten a hotel by the beach. It was nice to be right in the middle of town where we had to walk through everything in order to get to the tourist attraction sites. Just more for us to see of Playa Del Carmen!

Asiyami getting involved.

Nigerians and Mexicans shouldn't bargain, we both walk away with nothing.

 Taking in some art . . . I did try and touch the paintings...


Asiyami being hustled lol

The beach was never far off.

The colors.

     I really took a leap of faith by going to Mexico, but I think it was just what I needed. I doubt another opportunity will come by way to leave my troubles behind, and that's okay because I need to handle my affairs! My random, last minute decisions have provided me with some of my most treasured memories.  I get really bad panic attacks with my over-thinking and worrying so it is important that I (and you too!) take the time out to just . . . let go. Last minute decisions?? Why not?! As long as you're not hurting anyone, it's okay. Do it for yourself. Hold your breathe and 1... 2... 3... jump.

(psst....once again....bear with me on responding to your emails! There's so much to go through, but I always reply!
And for a better way to see when I update this, go to my FACEBOOK! Blessings!

Sunday, November 11, 2012


I clearly lied in my last update. I'm sorry. And thank you to those who stuck around!

Here's what has happened since July:

  • I ended my relationship.

  • Was still broke and jobless since my return from Nigeria.
  • Sunk into a deep depression because of my broke and jobless nature and also over my ugly breakup.
  • Went to Vegas with my family to keep my mind off things.

......... that didn't work......
  • Got a job campaigning door to door which I quit because I couldn't handle strangers yelling at me.
  • Got another job for minimum wage at a shoe store.
     Of course, despite being down in the dumps about my life, I worked on myself and on my friendships. I found out more about who I am outside of a relationship and I got to know some great people all over again:

(I also changed my hair quite a few times!)

     About 2 months after my breakup, I was starting to feel a teeny bit more like my old self. I was still sad and wallowing in my pool of self-pity, but I had my happy moments. But I was still not dealing and identifying with a lot of issues. I didn't want to deal with anything. I didn't want to deal with the fact that with two degrees, I worked at a shoe store. I didn't want to deal with the fact that I still missed and loved my ex. I felt that running away would allow me to leave everything in behind me. Little did I know that all my troubles were tied to my ankles and no matter how far I ran, those troubles trailed behind me. But still I ran. I made up my mind to move to New York and leave everything in New Mexico (or so I thought). But before that, I did a little bit more running.

  • I ran to Vegas again with friends.

  • I ran to Atlanta

     In Atlanta, I met up with my first boyfriend (I talked about our relationship in THIS POST). It was good to see that our friendship lasted.

  • I ran away to the beach.

     And I can honestly say that I had a good time with each run (lol) and bonded some strong friendships. I returned to New Mexico for my last week there and to say my goodbyes.... and the day before I left for New York, my ex and I reconciled. Long story made short, we reconciled at a Water Park where we bumped into each other and by the end of the night, had a passionate and somewhat very trashy reunion where a lot of feelings were brought up and everything I had been running away from spilled out.

     I have been living in New York now for one month working as a server at a restaurant. I just got back from visiting the bobo in New Mexico and solidified the relationship that we are building back up together.

     Of course there is still a lot of fear and doubt on both sides, but only time will tell where we will end up. Regardless of what happens, good or bad, I feel that I am now well equipped to deal the the end result mentally and spiritually.

     I moved to New York because I was running and now that I'm here, I got back the one person that I was running away from. Needless to say, my dears, my life is a hot mess. New York is hard and stressful and even more so with no friends and no familiar faces. But I'll make it through and find happy moments in the little things. Wish me luck!!!

If I've missed any of your emails, bear with me.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012


I know I have been slacking horribly with my postings, but things are about to change. I promise. Life in general has caught up with me in a really ugly way and writing a new post was the furthest activity on my mind. I'm still available to YOU if you have any questions or want to randomly ramble. As I have mentioned in previous posts, I am here for you. If you ever feel the need to talk about anything and I mean ANYTHING, I can easily and rapidly be reached at

I am excited to get a new post up once I have the time. My mind has been so full of things to write and I can't wait to share with you all! I hope all is well in your lives, my dears!  Peace, love and blessings.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Being Back Home

I have a lot more separate posts to make about Nigeria, but I'll start with this one as a quick summary.

I've been back in the States for coming up to a month now. I spent 9 amazing weeks back in Nigeria for the first time in 7 years. I chose to go back in February so that I could celebrate my father's birthday and mine with him. All my fears and paranoia of being back in Nigeria were dispersed the second I landed in Lagos and then in Port Harcourt. I live in Aba, but my luggage had not arrived so I had to stay in Port Harcourt an extra day. The anticipation was unbearable, but I was glad to see my father again after so long.

Our first sighting of each other wasn't as dramatic as one would have expected. I spent an extra hour in baggage claim trying to figure the situation out and I was able to peep out my father as he waited outside the doors for me. A day later, we headed out to Aba. There was a military checkpoint at every mile or so, but I was more nervous about the hired driver's continuous and unnecessary honking. We finally arrived in Aba and everything was so different as would have been expected.

(Sorry, you have to tilt your head)

My father. We spent every evening going to Aba Sports Club. The Club was founded in the early 1900's for the elite members of society (i.e, all the white folks). Of course that changed and it became a family club which we became a part of. A lot of time was spent there as a child. Nowadays, I call it The Club of Old Men. Yes, because that's what it's all about now.

 The upside of being the only young woman in the Club was the constant eating I got to do.

I paid a visit to my old school which was just the same as ever. This is the primary section. The paint is new though.

The Secondary Section 

A typical classroom. Usually holds up to 60 students. Not so fond memories of getting flogged came back.

I spent just about everyday with Uzoaru. We went to school together since kindergarten and words cannot express what a great friend and woman she is.

The kitchen bak at home honestly hasn't changed, but I hated going in there. We went weeks without electricity so the food wouldn't keep and we had to re-heat everything before we went to bed.


A couple of times during a week, my father would bring back a treat for me to stuff my face with.

 Udara! One of my favorite fruits in Nigeria. I just hate the stickiness of it all, but I live for sucking on the seeds.

My father being adorable on my birthday.

My mosquito protection gear.

Perfection. I love peeling mangoes all the way.

More than anything now that I'm back, I miss my father. I miss his sense of humor, his patience and his advice. I can't wait to be back home again.